Subject: Warning: Better Times email Virus!!!

From: Robin S Socha <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 22:21:38 +0200 (CEST)

*** W A R N I N G !!! ***

If you would hate to see a bad thing happen to any of YOUR friends, please
read this important message we received from out Corporate Headquarters !!!

			** High Priority **

		Please read and heed this message:

    *** A new virus that is being transmitted via Internet!!! ***

There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet.  If you
receive an e-mail message with the subject line "Better Times," DO NOT read
the message, DELETE it immediately. Some miscreant is sending e-mail under
the title "Better Times" worldwide. If you get anything like this,

		***  DON'T DOWN LOAD THE FILE! ***

The FCC released a warning last Wednesday concerning a matter of major
importance to any regular user of the Internet. Apparently a new computer
virus has been engineered by a user of GERMAN TELEKOM that is unparalleled
in its destructive capability. Other more well-known viruses such as
"Socha", "Airwolf", and "Michaelangelo" pale in comparison to the prospects
of this newest creation by a warped mentality. What makes this virus so
terrifying, said the FCC, is the fact that no program needs to be exchanged
for a new computer to be affected and spread through the existing e-mail
systems of the Internet.

Once a computer is infected, one of several things can happen.  If the
computer contains a hard drive, that will most likely be destroyed. If the
program is not stopped, the computer's processor will be placed in an
ms-nt-4.0-complexity infinite binary loop - which can severely damage the
processor if left running that way too long.

Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your
computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all
your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number.. It will mix Kool-aid
into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on
the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten
in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you
are late for work.

"Better Times" will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and
shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current girlfriend behind
your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will
kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail
in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

"Better Times" will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet
seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in your bathtub and then
leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers
with your new snowblower.

It always travels to new computers the same way, in a text e-mail message
with the subject line reading "Better Times." Avoiding infection is easy
once the file has been received simply by NOT READING IT! The act of loading
the file into the mail servers ASCII buffer causes the "Better Times"
mainline program to initialize and execute. The program is highly
intelligent - it will send copies of itself to everyone whose e-mail address
is contained in a receive-mail file or a sent-mail file, if it can find one.
It will then proceed to trash the computer it is running on.

The bottom line is:   If you receive a file with the subject line "Better
Times," delete it immediately! Do not read it. Rest assured that whoever's
name was on the "From" line was surely struck by the virus. Unfortunately,
most novice computer users will not realize what is happening until it is
far too late. Luckily, there is one sure means of detecting what is now
known as the "Better Times" virus. Don't warn your friends and local system
users of this newest threat to the Internet! It could save them a lot of
time and money.

 DON'T PASS THIS WARNING ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW -- DON'T DO IT NOW !!!!!

---

From: Ray Cummins <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 15:47:53 -0500 (EST)

On Mon, 31 Mar 1997, Robin S Socha wrote:

Well, it really doesn't matter what he wrote.  I'd just like to say I'm
really looking forward to killfile support in Pine.